I just had my heart ripped out by a new client. Janet* came to me because she is tired of losing and gaining weight. Her latest experience was with a diet doctor who was fixated on dietary fat. He gave her a very low fat diet and, feeling desperate, she began to eradicate fat from her diet. Janet is an all-or-nothing kind of gal. She made every attempt to be “perfect” on the diet. When her weight loss slowed, she’d cut fat further. Most reasonable, healthy diets suggest approximately 30% of our daily food intake should be fat. Janet wound up making 10% of her weekly diet fat.
She lost weight. She was elated. She lost 80 lbs in 6 months. When I heard her say this, I held my breath. I knew what was coming.
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It’s the middle of January and, in one form or another, many of us are fighting with our food.
As New Year’s Resolutions fade and sputter and maybe even get thrown to the wind, it’s easy to fall into a real struggle with food. Most diets set us up for struggle. They make some foods “good” (which doesn’t line up with what our mind says is “good”), and some “bad.”
But even an old pro like me has a momentary brain fart around food.
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Last week, I posted a notice about this story to twitter and facebook. V Magazine had had the audacity to use plus sized models (size 12, not very plus to the average size 14 American woman) in a sexy fashion story! Whoa! Stop the presses! What are they doing?
Well, most people responded favorably. Not surprisingly, women were thrilled.
Today, I was at the gym and, when I looked up from the treadmill, one of the entertainment shows featured a string of commentators who had negative reactions to the magazine layout.
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Though I don’t make resolutions, I do make goals for myself and for my business, Catalyst Coaching, every year. What’s the difference? Well, a goal is something you work towards, focus on, create. A resolution pretends that life changes on a dime – that, at 12:01 a.m. on January 1st, we’ll somehow change and our behavior will be different than before.
It rarely happens.
Goals, on the other hand, inspire plans and plans insure execution, and that’s when things start to happen.
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As we move from one year to the next, it’s fun to look ahead and make resolutions or set goals. But, before doing that, it’s important to take a look back and celebrate the wins of the year we’re leaving.
Here are my wins of 2009.
1. Maintaining my weight loss of 70+ lbs.
When I set out to lose weight, I was determined to keep my new weight. I was tired of “renting” weight loss and having to give it back at the end of the diet. So, I set about losing weight differently. In March, I will celebrate 10 years at my current weight!
2. Spreading the word about Permanent Weight Loss.
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Tomorrow is always a sad day for me. Even though it comes right after Christmas, it’s been a sad day for me for the past 15 years.
During the decades I spent overweight, fat had a big impact on my life. My appearance kept me from enjoying many activities, made me feel shy and awkward with people, and impacted my relationships.
I hid whenever possible. I dressed in black and stayed in the background. I hoped no one would notice me in crowds or at events. I grew very uncomfortable whenever attention came my way because of my size. You can imagine the horror I felt when my sister Paula asked me to be in her wedding party. It was 1991 and I was at a “medium” weight, having regained some 60 lbs after a 3-year hiatus from sugar and white flour. The weight had returned, as it always did, with a vengeance.
I was even more horrified when I saw the dresses she had picked out!
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Holidays bring stress to most of us. Also trying to lose weight? More stress!
And what if stress is a major food trigger for you? Consider that stress quadrupled!
Often, after a period of successful weight loss, we develop expectations of how our holiday should go, or what we can accomplish during this frantic time. Those expectations can be unrealistic, given the pressures and demands of family, friends, celebrations, the social calendar, etc.
On one hand, it’s not productive to use the holidays as an excuse to abandon healthy goals and routines.
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Here in Madison, WI, we’re experiencing the winter’s first big snow. Imagine my surprise when I was driving through the near white-out conditions and noticed a woman standing outside an office building, without a coat, casually smoking a cigarette.
“Wow!” I thought. She must really need that cigarette!” It was so interesting to see her complete lack of embarrassment as she demonstrated her addiction in spite of the frozen conditions.
My addiction was always food. I thought, “Would I stand in the snow to eat a brownie if you couldn’t eat them indoors?”
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