In an effort to clear my office of clutter, I recently began a scrounge-and-purge operation. I don’t consider myself a hoarder in any way. I’ve learned to let go of old stuff, old fat, and, most importantly, old beliefs. You might say I love releasing things that don’t serve me.
But, it’s amazing what can hide in bookshelves, beneath a stack of reading material, or in office cubbies.
Recently, as I was knee-deep in the recycle bin, I came across a series of old notebooks. I always keep a notebook with me. It might serve as a place to journal, make a to-do list, or plan the year 2035. I long-ago realized I can’t keep all the parts of my life separate, so everything goes in the one notebook I have nearby.
The day before Thanksgiving, I found myself going through a notebook from early in my final weight loss journey. I have no idea what cued the list I found… but I was actively losing weight and must have realized, or read somewhere, that I should hook into the rewards of the task I was planning.
So, here’s my list – the reasons why I wanted to lose weight permanently:
1. I’ll feel connected to my body, no static in between it and me.
2. I’ll be the essence of me, no excess anywhere.
3. I’ll look better in clothes and find it easy to shop.
4. It will show I walk my talk. I say I want to be a healthy weight and embody health, and that will be apparent.
5. Food will cease to be a focal point in my life.
6. I’ll show love without food.
7. I’ll love myself and others more deeply and purely. My expression of this love will be clean and simple and authentic.
8. I’ll honor my body.
9. I’ll be as I was meant to be. I won’t carry my inadequacies and disappointments on my hips.
And here’s what’s important about this ten-year-old list:
Today, it’s all true. Every word of it.
It’s the season of thanksgiving, and I’m very grateful for all the wonder in my life. I’m even more inspired to look back and see what I have created. I always had doubt, but my intention from those words somehow carried me through the doubt, the hard times, the heartbreak and meandering roads that make up life.
What do you want to create? In ten years, what will be on the list you find? The list you write today?
Coaching and training thousands of people towards permanent weight loss has taught me valuable lessons. After several years, I began to notice distinct differences in the way my male and female clients approached weight loss and found success.
I realized my male clients often followed a less complicated, linear pattern towards weight loss.
My female clients got stuck in circles of complicated emotions and layers of confusing responsibilities.
My male clients understood diets and controlling food. They thrived on structure and command. Food rarely has emotional connection or implication for most men.
My female clients yearned for true nourishment and were fulfilled by the experience of caring deeply for themselves.
My male clients wanted to earn something.
My female clients needed to grow into a new attitude before they could lose weight and keep it off.
Continue reading »
Permanent weight loss is what we want, even if we’re heavily invested in temporary weight loss via diets. We all think a diet will get us there – despite study after study indicating 99 percent of dieters regain their weight and every diet adds a few extra pounds too.
Why do we live in such DENIAL (read: Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying)? Because, if we believe the diet will fix the weight, we don’t have to take responsibility and fix US (or the underlying behaviors).
In my last two posts, we explored twenty things to STOP in order to achieve permanent weight loss. Now, here are 10 more very important steps to further your progress towards permanent weight loss. These are challenges that commonly show up for my weight loss clients and I hope revealing these challenges will make your weight loss easier and more direct. It’s a virtual blueprint to permanent weight loss!
This is Part 3 of a 5-Part Series – So, check back for subsequent posts! Or subscribe! You can now sign up at the right of this post to receive new posts via email notification too!
21. Stop making excuses – Excuses link us to victim status and there are a million and one excuses for everything. But the old saying “You can’t have reasons and results” is absolutely true. It doesn’t matter if grandma Mabel made your favorite cookies or your BFF (“friend” – really?) decided to surprise you with a mojito and shots happy hour, the moment we start excusing destructive behavior with well-thought-out and perfectly reasonable reasons, we lose the power of owning every choice. Weight is lost permanently when we step up and truly own every choice.
Continue reading »
Oh, if only a great big stop sign showed up BEFORE we committed some of the actions that destroy our progress towards permanent weight loss!
In my last post, we explored ten things to STOP in order to achieve permanent weight loss. Now, here are 10 more very important steps to further your progress towards permanent weight loss. These are challenges that commonly show up for my weight loss clients and I hope revealing these challenges will make your weight loss easier and more direct. It’s a virtual blueprint to permanent weight loss!
This is Part 2 of a 5-Part Series – So, check back for subsequent posts! Or subscribe! You can now sign up at the right of this post to receive new posts via email notification too!
11. Stop ignoring energy – The need for food is a need for energy. Food is fuel which creates energy. Notice, I did not say “the desire for food” – I said “need” – that is different! We need food for energy and hunger is the cue. So, in order to be in touch with the actual need for food, and fuel our bodies well, we’ve got to be in the business of noticing energy needs. Learning your body’s unique cues and messages is key to long-term success at managing weight.
Continue reading »
Excess weight is created by over-reliance on food – we often use food as caretaker, parent, therapist, mood-elevator, motivator, punisher, etc. Losing weight permanently requires changing our negative behaviors with food as well as our relationship with food.
Since 2001, I’ve worked with thousands of amazing folks to help them achieve permanent weight loss, and I’ve noticed many similarities in the challenges they confronted in order to make change. It’s no surprise, these challenges parallel the changes I made as I lost over 90 pounds permanently.
I believe revealing these challenges will make your weight loss easier and more direct. It’s a virtual blueprint to permanent weight loss!
This is Part 1 of a 5-Part Series – So, check back for subsequent posts! Or subscribe! You can now sign up at the right of this post to receive new posts via email notification too!
- Stop dieting – Dieting is a false imposition of a food plan; it’s deprivation on every level. It is long proven that 99% of dieters regain and, when they regain, they regain 107% of the weight that was lost. Clearly, there are better ways to get the change you want.
Continue reading »
For someone who battled fat and won, long-term, I learned there are many misconceptions about how excess weight is lost. Unfortunately, what we don’t know can cause great harm, with long-term effects.
Naturally, we want quick results and, with no shortage of diets in the world, it’s very tempting to grab onto a diet for weight loss. Unfortunately, that leads to the condition we now see in our culture: DIETING FATTER every year.
But the human body is resourceful and intelligent, and it perceives a diet as an assault. Let me explain why.
Continue reading »
If you read my blog often, you know that I have lost substantial weight and kept it off since the year 2000. In my seminars and workshops, where I teach the principles of permanent weight loss, I often talk about the two most important factors to lifestyle change that result in permanent weight loss:
Consistency
That’s how you build lifestyle change. It doesn’t come with a diet, or we’d all be thin. Consistency is how you show up in your life, every day. It’s about the quality of the effort.
Consistency is not about “cheat days” or accepting a binge because it’s been a rough week or we got rejected by someone or something. Consistency is about integrity and owning our choices, for good. It’s about busting up excess weight with good behavior with food and exercise executed on a daily basis.
Continue reading »
A friend of mine recently congratulated me on my Master Certified Coach credential. He’s a coach and knows the ICF (International Coach Federation) credential represents a high bar in the coaching profession. Less than 700 coaches have achieved the credential worldwide.
I responded by telling him “it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life” and he challenged me to write about the Ten Hardest Things I’ve Done in Life.
I love challenge. So, in no particular order, here they are:
1. I Gave Birth – Not much explanation needed here, if you are a woman. My experience giving birth to my son was traumatic, to say the least. If you are a man, compare this to war. Complications, emergency surgery with you awake, scapels, your life’s blood spewing out, rapidly, like a geyser. Then you begin a series of seizures, black out and see your husband’s face fade, thinking you are dead.
2. I Lost Weight Permanently – In order to do this , I had to say NO to our entire culture that promotes, supports and reinforces diet/regain to make money. I had to go against the grain, to say the least – I had to say “no” to my doctors, family, friends, the medical profession, therapists, and the diet industry.
3. I Buried My Little Sister – I have buried my parents, even my best friend. But my little sister was always in my life. I was the only person alive who knew her every day of her life. Sisterhood is a different sort of bond than any other. She was 37, the only thin person in our family. How was she thin in a family of addicted eaters? She drank diet coke and smoked cigarettes all day, avoiding eating. This ripped me apart, worse than those scapels in childbirth.
4. I Sent a Husband to War – Activated into the air force on 9.11, my husband was part of the Enduring Freedom campaign. Suddenly, any illusion of control in life was rendered. No one knows what will happen, and you’ve got every single task at home to handle, plus a small child who’s terrified.
5. I’ve Said Goodbye to Friends Who Didn’t Support Me – When I lived in a diminished place in life, I accumulated friends who liked me diminished. When I grew beyond that, they became judgmental and negative about my accomplishments. It was truly surprising to me, but they were not going where I was going in life. It was time to part ways. I thought I would have regrets; I have not. My friends today are a thousand times more supportive and these relationships are based on real connection.
6. I Left “Safety” for My True Work – I’ve had a lot of safe jobs in my life, but none of them fed me. When I decided to start my own business and help others lose weight permanently and fulfill their potential, it took a huge leap of faith and trust. It was scary, exhilarating, and ultimately very fulfilling to chart my own destiny. But, I’m a cowgirl from Texas and nobody’s the boss of me.
7. I Raised Myself to Adulthood – I could also call this “I raised myself out of addiction.” I didn’t have parents who were mature enough to raise me. One of them was an alcoholic, the other an addictive eater. I finally realized I had to raise myself to maturity; there was no one else to do it. Now, I think, who better for that task?
8. I Achieved my Master Certified Coach Credential – The ICF credential is coveted, because it is very hard to achieve. The bar is high, the testing process grueling. The passing rate is miniscule. Other coaches told me “It’s impassable. Don’t bother.” But I had amazing experiences with other Master Certified Coaches in my life and I knew the power of their excellence. I wanted to be that good for my clients.
9. I Found My Home – My body was always a revolving door. I rotated in and out of it, at will. Accepting it and supporting it, despite its many challenges, helped me understand love in a whole new way. Now, I see it is the only home I will ever have and I accept complete responsibility for it.
10. I Designed the enLIGHTen Your Life! Permanent Weight Loss Course – In order to do this, I had to take all the lessons I had learned and translate them into lessons, augmenting them with research and scientific data. I had to design them in a way that served class participants and “grew them” along the process of leaving diet mentality behind and truly taking charge of their lives and weight. It’s a work of art. People all over the world have taken the course and I’m very proud of it.
Has my life had challenges? Yes, I would say so. But, a friend of mine once remarked to me, “You’ve had such a tragic life.”
I was completely shocked. I don’t see it that way at all.
I have had a blessed and amazing life. I love my life and all life. I don’t judge the pain differently than the joy. We need both.
Every challenge gave me an amazing experience, a great lesson, a chance to show life who I am. I know there’s a lot in life I can’t control, and I don’t even try.
What interests me now is showing up, fully, every day.
- Confused? Most people are. All this is diet advice from the perspective of what I call Diet Mentality. Based in fea… https://t.co/oLbdhU6utw
- https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS
- I've always said exercise is more important than food control. What do you think? https://t.co/nRyJeKMZ9y
- Before and after pictures are usually complete fakes, and give us the misconception that the "after" picture is the… https://t.co/QUdTrITjeG
- Take a look! Wisdom! https://t.co/zjh6DbmIh9
