One of the primary reasons the American woman’s body image is distorted is the virtual lack of REAL role models in our society.
Most of our role models come from the fashion industry and Hollywood films. If we only viewed French or Italian films, we’d see a wide range of sizes, shapes and ages among the actresses looming on the big screen. (We’d also see less cookie cutter beauty and much more interesting types of beauty.)
But, time after time, I find myself watching an American movie and wondering “Why does she have to be so thin?”
She looked like this, primarily due to bulimia.
What We’re Comparing Against Example 1: Boomer women are reeling over Jane Fonda’s admission that she was bulimic when she starred in Hollywood films and exercise videos of the 70s. Nice of her to admit it now, I guess, but millions of women did those stupid videos until they were blue in the face and then beat themselves all the way to the bakery because they didn’t wind up looking like her.
What We’re Comparing Against Example 2: Actresses in two current hit films have admitted using body doubles in their nude scenes.
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We often have a picture in our heads of what successful weight loss looks like.
It might go like this:
New Diet + Short Period of Time = Skinny Me
We convince ourselves this is how it works and, when it doesn’t work, we blame ourselves. Or the diet. But usually ourselves – as if any diet EVER worked!
With a 99% fail rate and a 108% regain rate, diets are so not the way to go.
Once we realize this, some really big opportunities open up! As one of my clients recently said, “There really are 50 ways to leave your lover!”
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Saturday was an incredible day for a baseball fan, and especially for a New York Yankees fan like me.
That sunny, hot summer day will be forever remembered as the day the first Yankee reached 3,000 career hits in the game we call “America’s Past Time.” Now, the Yankees are known for winning. They own 27 World Series titles, far more than any other team in history. And they count the greatest baseball players of all time as their players and leaders: Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Yogi Berra, Roger Maris, Whitey Ford, Reggie Jackson, Phil Rizzuto, Bill Dickey, Elston Howard… the list goes on and on. Despite some wicked records from some of the greatest hitters of all time, no Yankee had hit the pinnacle of 3000 hits.
Until Saturday, July 9, 2011.
That’s the day long-time Yankee shortstop, Derek Jeter, connected with an off-speed pitch from the Tampa Ray’s pitcher David Price and sent it over the fence in left field. Not just a hit! A homerun!
For long-time Yankees fans, like myself, it wasn’t really a surprise that it happened. But it was no less satisfying. It was the culmination of a career we’ve watched for 17 years. Unlike many athletes in this free agency/rapidly moving society of ours, Jeter has played his entire career for one team.
Now, weight loss. How do the two connect?
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In the U.S., it’s Independence Day! Is today the day you will declare your independence from using food in any way that does not serve your body well?
Create Some Fireworks in Your Life!
In our food-driven society, we use food for a myriad of reasons that have nothing to do with hunger or physical need.
Just a few of the very common food excuses:
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Have you heard this quote?
“The chief cause of failure is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment.”
The road to weight loss is littered with bad trades!
We vow to attend a barbecue and avoid drinking alcohol, since that often sets off compulsive eating. But, in the moment, perhaps under peer pressure from the host or hostess, we throw the vow away and plunge headfirst into a margarita.
Alcohol can lead to relaxed boundaries around food.
We promise to eat in a healthy manner but, when the first meeting of the work day shows up decorated in doughnuts, we’re on a sugar high before the boss can say “Good morning!”
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As our culture becomes more and more fixated with excess weight and dieting, we grow fatter. As weight loss methods proliferate, verging on the dangerous, we risk serious bodily harm to get thin, but never seem to get there. Unexpressed desires, hungers and needs drive this counterproductive behavior.
Through the years, my clients have shared many forms of hunger with me and with each other in my year-long weight loss class. Often, they describe a deep, endless hunger they feel in a sharp, visceral way – a deep hole that is never filled, no matter how much food, drink and drama are added to the void. That’s what I thought about when I saw this video:
The hunger we feel has nothing to do with food.
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No, I’m not talking about her skimpy outfits or the skinny half-naked dancers flanking her live shows.
Lady Gaga is the most famous woman in music/culture right now, and I don’t think it’s because of her music (although it’s quite good) – it’s because of her message. Music is only part of her life played out as performance art.
Her deeper message to her “little monsters” (her fans) is screw everyone if they don’t like you, be who you are, because, no matter what that might be, that’s perfect.
Lady Gaga at the 2011 Grammy Awards
What’s the connection to weight loss? Listen to
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Ya gotta laugh at the way many so-called “journalistic” websites report the news about obesity. Take this article on the new drug combination Qnexa, for example. (View full article here.)
They’re so anxious to report that something, anything, will fix the overweight condition, they’re willing to write around some obvious truths and obscure the real news people need.
Here are my notes on key segments of the story:
A combination of two drugs — along with advice regarding healthy diet and exercise — may be an effective treatment for obesity, a new study suggests.
Pat’s Note: The words “along with advice regarding healthy diet and exercise” – ADVICE? How about adherence? That’s all you need. And why do they always say “it works, along with healthy diet and exercise”? If healthy diet and exercise were present, we wouldn’t need drugs. They actually include that phrase as a way out – when it doesn’t work, they blame the patient for not adding the “healthy diet and exercise.”
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- I've always said exercise is more important than food control. What do you think? https://t.co/nRyJeKMZ9y
- Before and after pictures are usually complete fakes, and give us the misconception that the "after" picture is the… https://t.co/QUdTrITjeG
- Take a look! Wisdom! https://t.co/zjh6DbmIh9
