It’s rare that we meet someone who is truly giving in this world. And so sad when the world loses such a person.

Today, I learned that a colleague of mine, a pioneer ADD coach, passed away. His name was Ken Zaretzky and he was truly a champion of coaching and coaches. He was a beautiful, open, painfully honest, caring man who loved to see coaches succeed. I first met him in one of my coach training courses, and he truly delighted in my success as a coach and businesswoman.

He would call me and say, “I just wanted you to know I heard you’re doing great things for your clients.” I never knew where he heard that (this was long before social media) but I was so touched he wanted me to hear good things.

He had this habit of giving money to people. He would give a stack of bills or his “change jar” to a school principal, a priest, or a rabbi and tell them to “put the money where there is need.” His only request was that he never be identified.

“Let’s not let the fact that it’s impossible
get in our way.” – Ken Zaretzky

One of my favorite “Ken Stories” (and there were many) occurred when he traveled to my little town of Madison, WI to speak to our ICF (International Coach Federation) chapter. Since he didn’t want to eat lunch at the meeting right before speaking, we had planned to go for lunch after the meeting.

I was driving and, of course, Ken was coaching. He was always coaching. He coached at the drop of a hat whenever his phone rang and it rang constantly with clients from down the street, in Congress, and even members of royal families. It was a lovely spring day. Although I couldn’t hear his client, or even discern the topic from his responses, I marveled at his enthusiasm for his client on the other end of the phone.

All of a sudden, a huge tree limb dropped from a tree along the road and hit my windshield, shattering it. Thank goodness we were wearing sunglasses. I managed to stop the car and we looked at each other, completely transformed by the moment.

We were covered in shattered glass but there was not a scratch on either of us. “Wow!” he said. “You always shine Pat but, right now you are very sparkly!”

We both recognized we could be dead at that moment and were not.

It was one of the most visceral moments of my life, and his too. We often talked about it later.

I have to admit I have regrets today.

I feel such a bittersweet sadness because Ken had a serious weight problem and, though he joked about it, it resulted in many health problems.

As a weight loss coach, I always let him know I was there for him and yet he avoided that path, even acknowledging to me he was avoiding it. I cannot help but wonder if I should have done more. I cannot help but imagine how much more joy he could spread with a longer life.

It makes me angry too. I hate procrastination. I hate to hear people deny a problem. I abhor excuses like he used… “First, I gotta this… or that….”

I have learned there is no other “first” than your health.

I know that moment we experienced together in the car, on that Spring day, was not his time, and now was the time.

Ken, my heart is with you. I wish you a peaceful transition and send you love always. Thank you for what you have meant to me, and thousands of coaches you touched with your generosity.

When someone loves and appreciates you, even for 2 or 10 minutes, it lives with you forever.