The news that Elizabeth Taylor died today feels doubly sad. For me, it is tinged with massive regret and disappointment.
It is possible no greater beauty has every graced earth. She was gifted not only with that beauty but also with talent, courage, sensitivity, intelligence and empathy.
You might say Elizabeth Taylor had it all.
With this amazing battalion of gifts, huge personal power would seem inevitable. But Elizabeth Taylor never achieved her potential.
Her addictions stopped her.
Food. Alcohol. Drugs. Drama. Romance. Financial ruin.
Her life reads like a text book for addictive behavior.
Addiction prevented her from sharing her true potential with the world. She made some of the most awful films ever made while attempting to navigate the extreme behavior that her addictions drove.
I’m not saying I don’t appreciate what she gave to life: her humanitarian contributions are almost as legendary as her violet eyes and the massive jewels she once owned. Her Maggie the Cat in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and Leslie Benedict in “Giant” are truly unforgettable.
And I understand the extreme pressures her beauty must have brought. Coupled with a childhood interrupted for stardom AND the pressures of Hollywood AND the crushing way women were treated in her era, I do see that it might have taken a miracle to avoid the road she took.
But it doesn’t make me any less sad for the loss.
Addiction robs the addicted, but it also robs us all.
What magnificence she brought to the world! But how much more could have been? This woman could have ruled Hollywood and dominated world cinema with her gifts.
I really hate to see anyone, especially women, waste even an ounce of their inherent power.
If you give power, time and energy to a substance outside yourself, what would happen if you gave those energies to the world, or your community, instead?
What gifts do you possess?
What gifts might be hiding beneath your addictive behavior?
Are you willing to step to another road, and live from your gifts?
Leaving this life, with regrets for what could have been, is the worst pain of all, to me.
Living life, using up all the tremendous gifts we have, for good purpose, is the idea. And, for that, addictions need to be addressed, conquered, left behind.
RIP Elizabeth Taylor. Thank you for the lesson.
14 Responses to Elizabeth Taylor, RIP
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You are so right. Addictions do rob the world. I was not a fan, but your comments made me relaize the loss here. and with many others who have big talents too.
Thank you.
I have to thank you, I never thought about it that way. I know my addictions take energy to maintain I could contribute someplace. This made me look at her life differently, like it could be a wake up call. The way you said so many good things about her is a good balance too. I have learned something.
Allie
I think there are lots of valuable lessons here, Allie. I believe we are all here to teach each other. Maybe that was her spiritual role, to teach us about the dangers and waste of addiction. And her beauty certainly got us to pay attention!
What a thought-provoking post!
It is true…addiction robs. But it also gives. So many of the most talented artists in all media are/were addicted and/or mentally ill on some level (and trust me, I believe mental illness is a continuum and that we’re all on it). I believe that the pain that drives an addiction also allows for great talent. I am not saying that I think addiction is a good thing. There are plenty of talented people who are not addicted. So while I think addiction hides talent, I also think it enables talent.
Fascinating perspective Karen! Addiction enables talent. I’ve never heard it put quite that way.
I worked in the film business after getting my degree in filmmaking… and, at one point, counted myself among the addicted. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are many paradigms through which we can see life. I was just reading that the old belief of “you have to be crazy to be gifted” has faded in the last 30 years. Artists, actors and singers are supporting their health and mental health more than ever before.
I view it this way: I don’t think it’s the addiction that enables the talent. I think the talent can become a burden (especially when fame is involved) and, many times the individual was either hereditarily predisposed to addiction, was raised by addicts, or was one of those amazingly sensitive souls who couldn’t take what we sometimes, in our society, heap upon the gifted. I think that last one is why so many of my clients are extraordinarily talented and creative.
Elizabeth’s gifts were enormous. It must have been a huge burden to carry at times. I really feel for that young girl, trying to grow up in Hollywood in the 1940s. There is no way to go back and adequately guide and parent her but her life is an amazing lesson for us.
We must learn how to “handle” problems head on instead of having various addictions. Expressing oneself, releasing our feelings could be a first step to avoiding some addictions, instead of holding everything inside and hiding from what really challenges us in life. Addiction has ruined so many successful lives, a real shame
Bonnie
I definitely agree with that perspective too Pat. True talent doesn’t have to come at the expense of one’s health, mental or otherwise. I think there’s a fine balance. I also think that in some cases, the pain that drives addiction also drives the desire to create. I’ve experienced this in my own life to a certain extent. What I consider some of my best writing came in a moment of great pain.
… the expression of pain. So true Karen. As writers, we’ve have to learn to express that pain without addictive behavior, if we want to be healthy. Perhaps if we “allowed” pain to be expressed more in our society, we’d have less addiction.
THANK YOU…I felt saddened yesterday too..when I heard the news but couldn’t put my finger on it.
THIS——If you give power, time and energy to a substance outside yourself, what would happen if you gave those energies to the world, or your community, instead?
THAT is my recent thoughts… my addiction to the addicted…mostly those that are no longer in my life but those behaviors linger!
My problem has been that I am SCARED of that potential…I KNOW I have it within but will others expectations of me be TOO demanding and put me back in the throws of those addictive behaviors of long ago..My co-dependency is intertwined with my the parts I like about ME….
But all in all I am willing to stop hiding and take that risk!
You’ve recognized something very important. We are all AFRAID of our potential, both of using it and not using it. That’s what scares me. So I’ve started to think incrementally. Maybe I too will die without using all my potential, but I know I can use a hell of a lot more than I am. I just have to have courage and strength.
You have courage and strength too, Jules. I can see that. And, you know what, whenever anyone expects too much of you, or more than you’re willing to give, you can just say “no thank you.”
Thanks for your comment!
Hmmm, am I afraid? Yes. Thank you Jules for saing that.
I’m afraid of failing – of looking bad – of people thinking I was stupid to hang my ass out there on the line. And, like you always say pat, that takes me to a bad place so I better get the hell out of dodge.
If I’m not afraid, I’m at least out there trying and giving my talents.
Allie P
And does being out there and giving your talents feel GOOD? Better than fear? Does doing something take you to a better-feeling place?
You betcha. I just forget it sometimes. Fear is creepy. It creeps in andd you don’t even know i’s there. I need a security service.
LOL – Don’t we all? Fear is creepy and 99.9999% of it never happens anyway. Don’t waste the time. – Pat