This week has seen a lot of discussion about a new diet book which targets girls ages 6-12.  After the initial outbreak of criticism, the author appeared on several talk shows defending his book as “empowering.”  I spoke on the news about it Thursday.

I have to admit I’ve been wrestling with conflicting feelings about this.  On one hand, I want to have the guy banned from Amazon and every other bookseller.  His complete ignorance of the damaging and diminishing effect of diets on young women is simply deplorable.

On the other hand, we live in a country where we enjoy freedom of speech.

And yet, we have laws and policies that protect children from harm.  And this is harmful.

To complicate matters further, as a blogger, do I speak up and risk giving him more exposure, or do I remain silent?

Do I follow my gut and let my freak out all over this blog, or hope his self-published, insulting “book” dies a quiet death?

Well, I guess you can tell which side of me won!

I can just imagine some sweet grandmother or misguided mom buying their child this book, complete with cover cartoon picture of a very round little girl in pigtails holding up a tiny pink dress in the mirror, because they are unaware of how to help a child they love.

So, I’m going to continue doing my best to educate everyone who will listen about the true outcome of dieting.  Maybe you know that mom or grandmother who needs this information:

1.  Diets don’t help anyone. They falsely restrict nutrients under the illusion of weight loss. They teach people to avoid food, judge food as “good” and “bad”, fear food, falsely idolize food, crave food, and confuse food with many emotions, including love.  This leads to a disordered relationship with food.

2.  99% of diets fail and their followers regain at an average rate of 108%.

3.  A great pretense is going on in America, and many other countries.  As the scabby diet industry markets and sells harder and harder, the public PRETENDS they are losing weight.  In truth, they are fluctuating weight, but rarely losing weight permanently.  Losing… gaining… losing… gaining…  It can appear that weight loss is happening all around us but the statistics show every year the population is heavier.

4.  It would be great if diets resulted in fat loss, but they don’t.  The body protects fat, in order to preserve life.  So, we burn lots of very valuable tissue on a restrictive diet.  This is called canibalization.  (I explain exactly how this works in this class.)

5.  When the diet ends, due to mental or physical depletion, the body cannot rebuild that valuable tissue, so it puts on more FAT.

6.  In America, and many other counties, we diet FATTER every year.

7.  Furthermore, diets diminish us as human beings.  They give us the message we are not “worthy” of real or adequate amounts of food, or experiencing a meal as pleasurable, but instead must eat cardboard-tasting crap and beat ourselves up when we overeat.  (We all overeat – it’s human – but dieting and diet mentality takes us further away from a natural response to eating too much, so we punish ourselves instead.)

8.  Diets tell amazingly intelligent beings that they can be reduced to a number on the scale or the calorie chart.  I can’t tell you how sad I feel when a vibrant human being comes to me for coaching and says, “I know I only get 1200 calories a day, but…”

9.  Diminished human beings don’t function well.  They often downplay or hide their talents, capabilities and their ability to love.  They lose touch with their bodies.  Sometimes, they even play life small.  They accept less than others eat, less true connection and meaning than others receive, and convince themselves they are wrong, undeserving or powerless.  Not everyone who is overweight does this, but all diminished people do, and our society exacerbates the situation by further diminishing those who carry too much weight.

10.  The whole world suffers when any portion of the population is diminished.  We need everyone reaching their potential!

Imagine letting a small child believe she is wrong, bad or defective!

That’s how I felt when my mother put me on my first diet at age 9.  By age ten, I was an accomplished calorie counter.  I suffered diets for many years, and I wound up at 240 lbs.

Many of my clients were put on diets at early ages, suffered weigh-ins at the hands of one or both parents, were sent to fat camps or creepy doctors… all because they were not acceptable to their parents in their natural state.

One of my clients was weighed every morning and, if her weight had not gone down, she was given a bag of raw vegetables for lunch, nothing more.  Another was given nothing while her entire family ate dessert.

Often, parents believe they are doing the right thing by forcing a kid to diet.  I get that.  But, a parent’s job is to love unconditionally.  That is the biggest job on earth, but the most important.

Kids internalize adults’ opinions and mixed messages about their worth.  They believe that adults KNOW something, when they often do not know or understand a problem.

The thing to remember about kids is that their habits can change quicker than adults, because they are not deeply engrained yet.  They have the great advantage of growth spurts to grow into their weight.  They naturally want to feel good about themselves.   In the big picture of a child’s life, they will have many periods of heavier weight and more bodyfat.  This is important for their development.

When my son was growing up, I noticed he always gained bodyfat right before a growth spurt.  Getting upset about it, or jumping onto a diet, actually restricts valuable nutrients and makes them unavailable for vital body development.

Please! Yes, I’m begging! Let’s teach kids  to look at the big picture and develop patience.  A 10-year-old with a layer of bodyfat is developing internally into a more adult body.  Both children and adults can lose weight naturally, when they learn to stop dieting and interferring with the natural process of hunger, satiation, etc.

But that decision has to come from inside a person.   When it comes from outside, it never sticks, and the judgment or criticism can do great harm.

Here are some tips on solving childhood obesity that do not involve dieting.