As our culture becomes more and more fixated with excess weight and dieting, we grow fatter. As weight loss methods proliferate, verging on the dangerous, we risk serious bodily harm to get thin, but never seem to get there. Unexpressed desires, hungers and needs drive this counterproductive behavior.
Through the years, my clients have shared many forms of hunger with me and with each other in my year-long weight loss class. Often, they describe a deep, endless hunger they feel in a sharp, visceral way – a deep hole that is never filled, no matter how much food, drink and drama are added to the void. That’s what I thought about when I saw this video:
The hunger we feel has nothing to do with food.
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A few weeks ago, my husband offered to go out for ice cream after dinner. He rarely wants dessert. In fact, I used to be the one sending him out for ice cream.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“Ummmm, nothing.”
“Really?” he said. “I’ll get your favorite. Coffee.”
Don’t you just love it when someone pushes food at you?
No! I don't want any!
(But, actually, I’m pretty impressed he knows my favorite, so I considered it a moment.)
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Whew! Last week was wild! I came back from a short vacation with a big goal in front of me – the release of my new audio class on CD.
In the past, an event like this, which brings a certain amount of deadline pressure, has served as an excuse to go unconscious for me. I wouldn’t say I binged over this kind of stress. That hasn’t been an option for a long time.
The Hard Cold Truth about Permanent Weight Loss Audio Course
But, even if binging is an impossible reaction, controlling food and using it to help control stress…
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Thanks for all the comments to the “Sick & Tired of ‘Food Decisions?'” post! Emails and tweets abounded. It was great to hear from you!
The quest for permanent weight loss MUST eventually become non-diet weight loss. Our willpower sooner or later deserts us. In fact, willpower was not equipped for long-range quests. In other words, diets have to morph into intelligent, sustainable lifestyles in order for the change to last. Diet mentality, on the other hand, has us yo-yo-ing our weight and repeatedly coming back for more dieting.
Feeding the body when it is not hungry builds more fat.
Many of the themes I heard from reader responses were from diet mentality and clearly centered on controlling food or controlling behavior with food, rather than focused on real needs. Let’s have a look:
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Talk about a “Food Decision” wall!! I hit it hard this week. Take a bit of fatigue and add several last-minute twists to a schedule that was a tad too tight in the first place, and all of a sudden food decisions become hard. I found myself saying, “I don’t want to DECIDE what to eat. It’s too much work. I just want someone to make dinner miraculously appear for my family and me.”
My clients describe this place of indecision and frustration a lot! Today, women work so hard in their careers and have so many additional responsibilities PLUS they are often expected to also fulfill the traditional “wife” duties of social planning, intra-family communication, scheduling, housework and meal planning/preparation. Overscheduling is a way of life. It can be a huge burden to carry.
The Food Decision Wall is that point when there’s nothing in the house to feed the kids except raw carrots and dog food and you’re seriously considering which would be more nutritious. It’s when you scream, “I NEED A WIFE!” It’s when you KNOW the best possible solution is to grab the phone for … FAST FOOD DELIVERY!
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I love baseball. I love the symbolism, the metaphor, and the geometry of it.
Phil Hughes is a Yankee pitcher.
He started his big league career with a couple stints as starting pitcher in 2007 but was injured in just his second game. He rehabbed but wound up in the minor leagues. Phil DID NOT LIKE the minor leagues! He made no bones about it.
Last year, he returned to the major league but didn’t fit into the Yankees’ rotation of starting pitchers. He wound up in the bullpen, a place starting pitchers don’t like. Phil, however, said he’d do anything not to go back to the minor leagues (hint: he had motivation).
This year, he competed for the 5th and last spot in the Yankees’ starting rotation of pitchers and won it. Yankee starting pitchers are VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE!
Good for Phil, right?
Last night was his second start. He was hurling heat! His curve ball was curvy (admittedly a girly descriptive for a pitch), his cutter was slicing across the plate at unhittable angles.
He issued only 1 walk in 5 innings. Phil was working on a no-hitter, a rare feat in baseball! (Even rarer, a perfect game is no walks and no hits.)
It was mesmerizing. After the 6th inning, still a no hitter!
After 7, Phil still in charge!
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When I look back at my weight loss, and my current healthy way of living, I see that what I ate was much less important than what was going on in my head.
I was a fat thinker.
It didn’t matter if I wanted to lose weight; I was never going to succeed until I changed thinking fat into thinking thin.
One of the things I did was examine the equations in my head from a different perspective, and bust them if they led to overeating, destructive attitudes, or feeling bad about myself.
Here are some examples:
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- Confused? Most people are. All this is diet advice from the perspective of what I call Diet Mentality. Based in fea… https://t.co/oLbdhU6utw
- https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS
- I've always said exercise is more important than food control. What do you think? https://t.co/nRyJeKMZ9y
- Before and after pictures are usually complete fakes, and give us the misconception that the "after" picture is the… https://t.co/QUdTrITjeG
- Take a look! Wisdom! https://t.co/zjh6DbmIh9
