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You hear a lot about “lifestyle change” today. In fact, most diets call themselves a “lifestyle change”, even Weight Watchers.

I guess it makes customers THINK they’re doing the big job, not the little (short-term) one.

My favorite “lifestyle change” quote was a friend on Phen-Fen who had lost a lot of weight. As she ordered lasagna and whipped four packets of sugar into her tea, she proclaimed “It’s not a diet! It’s a lifestyle change! I feel so different!”

Well, with real change you don’t “feel different”, you ARE different.

Diets Force Hard Choices

Don’t be fooled. My friend’s sad truth is that

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I love this quote by Bill Gates:

“If I’d had some set idea of a finish line, don’t you think I would have crossed it years ago?”

I differ from many weight loss experts since I’ve accomplished permanent weight loss. I learned my lessons down in the trenches, instead of in a book, and my experiences smashed many of the widely accepted tenets of weight loss.

Jogger

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Talk about a “Food Decision” wall!! I hit it hard this week. Take a bit of fatigue and add several last-minute twists to a schedule that was a tad too tight in the first place, and all of a sudden food decisions become hard. I found myself saying, “I don’t want to DECIDE what to eat. It’s too much work. I just want someone to make dinner miraculously appear for my family and me.”

FoodDecisions

My clients describe this place of indecision and frustration a lot! Today, women work so hard in their careers and have so many additional responsibilities PLUS they are often expected to also fulfill the traditional “wife” duties of social planning, intra-family communication, scheduling, housework and meal planning/preparation. Overscheduling is a way of life. It can be a huge burden to carry.

The Food Decision Wall is that point when there’s nothing in the house to feed the kids except raw carrots and dog food and you’re seriously considering which would be more nutritious. It’s when you scream, “I NEED A WIFE!” It’s when you KNOW the best possible solution is to grab the phone for … FAST FOOD DELIVERY!

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If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a very funny sketch from the April 10, 2010 Saturday Night Live featuring Tina Fey and her “brownie husband.”

Tina Fey and Brownie Husband from SNL

Food, especially those that heighten the senses like caffeine, sugar and chocolate, are often substitutes for connection, intimacy, and uncomfortable sexual feelings. Chocolate and sex produce similar emotional charges in the brain. “Brownie husband” is always available when we’re not in a partnership, or our key relationships are overstressed or poorly scheduled. Today’s over-busy world poses considerable challenge for the intimacy within relationships.

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What the world calls “weight loss” is a temporary condition based on a diet, not on real life. As I discovered, we pay for temporary weight loss with deprivation, excessive exercise, and, most importantly, we pay with the body’s precious metabolism. Then, we’re forced to give back the “weight loss” when we can’t support the payments anymore.

I call this “renting weight loss.” It’s prevalent in our society, and heartbreaking.

As I lost over 70 lbs. (and sustained that loss for 10 years), I learned a few things. Speaking at my 10th year celebration forced me to think about all my lessons from an overview perspective. It looked like this:

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YellowGirlFruit

It’s the middle of January and, in one form or another, many of us are fighting with our food.

As New Year’s Resolutions fade and sputter and maybe even get thrown to the wind, it’s easy to fall into a real struggle with food. Most diets set us up for struggle. They make some foods “good” (which doesn’t line up with what our mind says is “good”), and some “bad.”

But even an old pro like me has a momentary brain fart around food.

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