I hear the phrase “People Don’t Change” a lot, especially from the scientific and medical communities.
I’m just back from a conference focused on scientific studies about change. I’ll acknowledge there are studies that show most patients who encounter life threatening conditions return to old behaviors that caused the problem in the first place. Hence, red meat eventually seduces the heart patient. Nicotine lures the smoker. Weight comes back to the dieter.
I know some people don’t care to change, or it is too threatening to them to do so. Yes, living without food as a soother, friend or emotional barrier can be scarier than death.
But the problem with the general belief that “people don’t change” is: it’s just that – general.
And it’s not necessarily forever.
I fit that picture of “life-threatened-but-not-changing” once.
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We often think criticism will force us to act. We love to berate ourselves, talking about how “bad” we’ve been behavior-wise with food, and getting down on ourselves.
Why do we do this?
Well, I think it goes back to our childhoods. When we were young, criticism (or fear of it) often motivated us. Many of my clients (and myself) grew up with parents
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