As our culture becomes more and more fixated with excess weight and dieting, we grow fatter. As weight loss methods proliferate, verging on the dangerous, we risk serious bodily harm to get thin, but never seem to get there. Unexpressed desires, hungers and needs drive this counterproductive behavior.
Through the years, my clients have shared many forms of hunger with me and with each other in my year-long weight loss class. Often, they describe a deep, endless hunger they feel in a sharp, visceral way – a deep hole that is never filled, no matter how much food, drink and drama are added to the void. That’s what I thought about when I saw this video:
The hunger we feel has nothing to do with food.
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If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a very funny sketch from the April 10, 2010 Saturday Night Live featuring Tina Fey and her “brownie husband.”
Tina Fey and Brownie Husband from SNL
Food, especially those that heighten the senses like caffeine, sugar and chocolate, are often substitutes for connection, intimacy, and uncomfortable sexual feelings. Chocolate and sex produce similar emotional charges in the brain. “Brownie husband” is always available when we’re not in a partnership, or our key relationships are overstressed or poorly scheduled. Today’s over-busy world poses considerable challenge for the intimacy within relationships.
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