Having traveled my own quite complicated journey out of body hatred and losing over 70 lbs permanently, I’ve come to believe every body is different and unique, though we’re led by society/culture to believe their is a “standard.” I’ve had the experience of coaching hundreds of women towards their own unique “optimal” weight, and discovered we all lose weight at different rates (and, yes, in different places!).
Loving and appreciating our own distinctiveness isn’t the easy road in our society, but it can be done.
I once had a client lose weight at a rate of a pound a month, and be upset
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It’s rare that we meet someone who is truly giving in this world. And so sad when the world loses such a person.
Today, I learned that a colleague of mine, a pioneer ADD coach, passed away. His name was Ken Zaretzky and he was truly a champion of coaching and coaches. He was a beautiful, open, painfully honest, caring man who loved to see coaches succeed. I first met him in one of my coach training courses, and he truly delighted in my success as a coach and businesswoman.
He would call me and say, “I just wanted you to know I heard you’re doing great things for your clients.” I never knew where he heard that (this was long before social media) but I was so touched he wanted me to hear good things.
He had this habit of giving money to people.
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I’m just back from a conference focused on scientific studies about change where I heard a repetitive chant: “People Don’t Change.”
I’ll acknowledge there are studies that show most patients who encounter life threatening conditions return to old behaviors that caused the problem in the first place. Hence, the red meat seduces the heart patient. Nicotine lures the smoker. Permanent weight loss is rare as weight comes back to the dieter.
I know some people don’t care to change, or it is too threatening to them to do so. Yes, living without food as a soother, friend or emotional barrier can be scarier than death.
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I hear the phrase “People Don’t Change” a lot, especially from the scientific and medical communities.
I’m just back from a conference focused on scientific studies about change. I’ll acknowledge there are studies that show most patients who encounter life threatening conditions return to old behaviors that caused the problem in the first place. Hence, red meat eventually seduces the heart patient. Nicotine lures the smoker. Weight comes back to the dieter.
I know some people don’t care to change, or it is too threatening to them to do so. Yes, living without food as a soother, friend or emotional barrier can be scarier than death.
But the problem with the general belief that “people don’t change” is: it’s just that – general.
And it’s not necessarily forever.
I fit that picture of “life-threatened-but-not-changing” once.
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I love baseball. I love the symbolism, the metaphor, and the geometry of it.
Phil Hughes is a Yankee pitcher.
He started his big league career with a couple stints as starting pitcher in 2007 but was injured in just his second game. He rehabbed but wound up in the minor leagues. Phil DID NOT LIKE the minor leagues! He made no bones about it.
Last year, he returned to the major league but didn’t fit into the Yankees’ rotation of starting pitchers. He wound up in the bullpen, a place starting pitchers don’t like. Phil, however, said he’d do anything not to go back to the minor leagues (hint: he had motivation).
This year, he competed for the 5th and last spot in the Yankees’ starting rotation of pitchers and won it. Yankee starting pitchers are VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE!
Good for Phil, right?
Last night was his second start. He was hurling heat! His curve ball was curvy (admittedly a girly descriptive for a pitch), his cutter was slicing across the plate at unhittable angles.
He issued only 1 walk in 5 innings. Phil was working on a no-hitter, a rare feat in baseball! (Even rarer, a perfect game is no walks and no hits.)
It was mesmerizing. After the 6th inning, still a no hitter!
After 7, Phil still in charge!
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This past weekend, I led a wonderful seminar full of amazing women learning about permanent weight loss for the first time in their lives. Many of them had been focusing on food as a solution to excess weight for 10, 20, 30 years! It’s funny how we tend to doubt ourselves, rather than the methods foisted on us by commercial weight loss, doctors, trainers, diet gurus, etc. So often, we naturally assume we did “something wrong” when the diets fail time after time.
But this workshop was about changing our minds! And we did! Mindgames, be gone! We witnessed some major change to thinking patterns that get in the way of progress towards a healthy weight.
March 13 also officially marked my own 10th anniversary at my current weight after losing over 70 lbs. I very much wanted to be teaching others on this anniversary so the timing was perfect. I was looking forward to raising a glass of champagne with friends and clients but, when the time actually came, I was oddly emotional.
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As the 21st Olympics enthrall the world, I find myself once again amazed by the grace, beauty and achievement of the world’s finest athletes.
This year, perhaps because I’m a bit more reflective about life these days, the games have reminded me of all the Olympics I’ve watched through the years. Beyond the athletic achievement, competition and “overcoming the odds” stories guarantee drama.
One of the reasons I think the games appeal to us is that we live cathartically through them. After all, most of us will never achieve a triple axle jump, even without the ice skates. I know I hesitate to jump off a fence, much less a mountain on skis. And I bet I can’t find one of my dear readers rushing out to luge down a frozen tube at 90 mph!
But, there is not one of us who can’t be an Olympian when it comes to permanent weight loss. I’m convinced of that. In order to compete on the world class stage, seek to develop these elements that Olympians master:
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I just had my heart ripped out by a new client. Janet* came to me because she is tired of losing and gaining weight. Her latest experience was with a diet doctor who was fixated on dietary fat. He gave her a very low fat diet and, feeling desperate, she began to eradicate fat from her diet. Janet is an all-or-nothing kind of gal. She made every attempt to be “perfect” on the diet. When her weight loss slowed, she’d cut fat further. Most reasonable, healthy diets suggest approximately 30% of our daily food intake should be fat. Janet wound up making 10% of her weekly diet fat.
She lost weight. She was elated. She lost 80 lbs in 6 months. When I heard her say this, I held my breath. I knew what was coming.
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