It’s Halloween and ghosts, ghouls and goblins are flying!  Rather than give you candy this Halloween, here’s a checklist to help you identify the toxic and negative people in your life.

Ghouls

A ghoul is an evil demon who feeds on human beings.  They revel on what is revolting and are drawn to the worst part of people.  When you are in pain or conflict, they’ll show up and pretend to be solicitous, but are actually malevolently feeding off your suffering.  They are often caretakers.

Goblins

A goblin is a grotesque sprite or elf who is openly malicious toward people.  Goblins love to attack, afflict, and even torture human beings.  They are especially negative and spiteful and therefore easy to identify.  Getting rid of them is another story; they have staying power and can haunt you for years until you end the relationship.  They are often the family member everyone hates but can’t stand up to.

Demons

A demon is a wicked, evil or cruel person who is passionate and influential.  They use their status and influence to malign and exploit others and usually ascend to positions of power by stepping on others.  Many demons are bosses.

Zombies

Zombies are wooden, listless and remote automatons.  Zombies are the most prevalent type of person in our society and culture these days.  They are magnificent “shouders.”  They march lifelessly to work like they feel they should.  They mindlessly enroll their kids in 12 different activities because their sister enrolls her kids in 10.  They read slick, glossy and derivative magazines in an attempt to learn how to live their lives, comparing themselves to celebrities and know-it-allers.  They do what the boss says, even when it conflicts with their values.  They march through life with very few feelings expressed.  They suck the vitality from everyone around them because they are so busy following the arbitrary rules, they never questioned or decided how they are living.  The key to their existence is validation – they want you to live like they do, adopt their rules to validate their empty existence.  Zombies are everywhere.

Ghosts

Ghosts are wandering souls, vague and shadowy.  They suck energy without you realizing it.  There is always something a little down or depressed about ghosts.  They live under the mistaken notion that people feeling sorry for them makes them safe.  “Feeling sorry” for others is actually a subtle form of hatred.  Ghosts are often slightly hidden, and look pathetic.

Vampires

Vampires are bloodsuckers.  Never vague like ghosts, they prey ruthlessly upon the weak and use drama, coercion and sometimes extortion to get what they want.  Empty and dark, they need fabricated drama to feel alive and they are masters at creating excuses, shame, blame and other signs of extreme victimhood.  Your wicked stepmother or sister-in-law is likely a vampire.

The Wide Range of “Toxic” in Relationships

1. Judgment
2. Negativity
3. Diminishment
4. Rigidity or Controlling
5. Perpetual Disagreement
6. Belittlement
7. Guilt Tripping
8. Shaming/Blaming
9. Neglecting
10. Hostility/Threatening – Misdirected Anger
11. Abuse
12. Physical Harm

Conclusion

The first step to freedom is identifying and becoming aware of those people in your life who diminish, negate or abuse you.  Even if its subtle dismissal, and not outright abuse, bring your awareness to the issue and take steps to create distance and boundaries with folks like this.

Never allow them to influence your actions, like make you eat compulsively or feel bad about yourself.

You are the only person who can draw the line.