One of my clients saw my last blog post. She said, “Pat, you don’t like any of the traditional weight loss formulas, do you?”

No, I don’t.

I don’t like them because they don’t work. Trying to follow them took years of effort and rendered me mind-numbingly incapable of success. When I threw them out the window, things started moving in a positive way in my life.

Here are some of the “traditional” rules that, in my opinion, just don’t work:

1. Setting a goal that is a number, especially if that number comes from a chart someone else wrote (even more if that chart was written by the medical or insurance business). What’s even worse? Using BMI, one of the stupidest efforts to put you and me in a box that anyone ever dreamed up. (You can be very fit and be “overweight” according to BMI.)

2. Screaming to the world about that goal. Most people don’t care. Even less are prepared to truly support you and may sabotage you.

3. Weighing or measuring in public. We are people; not sheeple. We weigh animals to determine their worth at market. You are a human being; start treating yourself with respect.

4. Setting time limits on goals. Weight leaves our lives in very unique ways. If it’s leaving permanently, or if you’ve dieted a lot in life, it’s going to exit very slowly. Setting a time limit (especially a damned wedding or event) is asking to feel like a failure.

5. Focusing on “LOSING.” If you say “lose it” to your mind, somewhere in the grey matter, it talks back. And it says “find it again.”

What I like:

1. That you can lose weight permanently. Sure, it’s rare. But we’re learning more about it every day. When I give a wellness talk or a motivational speech, I see more and more people “getting it” every day too. What if, once you gained weight, it could not EVER be released from your life?

2. When the journey becomes an avenue for personal growth and learning. Given respect, weight issues and the body have much to teach us that we cannot learn anywhere else in life.

3. That it involves intimacy with and connection to ourselves. So often, we say we want intimacy and connection with another person in life, but cannot even be involved with ourselves in an intimate, nourishing way.

4. If you pay attention, it teaches. Weight leaves slowly when we’re resistant, quickly when we’re motivated and taking lots of action. Following the path of weight loss is like holding up a mirror and seeing all the parts of yourself, internal and external.

5. That it takes courage. We all need to identify, strengthen and use our courage in life. Now, that’s good exercise.