Have you heard this quote?
“The chief cause of failure is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment.”
The road to weight loss is littered with bad trades!
We vow to attend a barbecue and avoid drinking alcohol, since that often sets off compulsive eating. But, in the moment, perhaps under peer pressure from the host or hostess, we throw the vow away and plunge headfirst into a margarita.
Alcohol can lead to relaxed boundaries around food.
We promise to eat in a healthy manner but, when the first meeting of the work day shows up decorated in doughnuts, we’re on a sugar high before the boss can say “Good morning!”
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As our culture becomes more and more fixated with excess weight and dieting, we grow fatter. As weight loss methods proliferate, verging on the dangerous, we risk serious bodily harm to get thin, but never seem to get there. Unexpressed desires, hungers and needs drive this counterproductive behavior.
Through the years, my clients have shared many forms of hunger with me and with each other in my year-long weight loss class. Often, they describe a deep, endless hunger they feel in a sharp, visceral way – a deep hole that is never filled, no matter how much food, drink and drama are added to the void. That’s what I thought about when I saw this video:
The hunger we feel has nothing to do with food.
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The phrase “having it all” has been cropping up lately. You know what that means. Time to pay attention!
“Having it all” drives so much activity and behavior! We seem to have hugely idealistic pictures of our “perfect” lives: thin bodies, thriving relationships, successful careers, high achiever children, beautifully appointed homes, oodles of money, respect, admiration…. the list can obviously go on and on.
We’re even willing to minimize huge aspects of our lives that are fantastic when just one part of what we define as “all” is missing (or doesn’t show up exactly when we want it!).
Having it All - Version 1
Here’s an example: A client* comes to me with a fantastic life
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The debate over yoga and weight loss persists today with “fitness experts” often arguing that yoga doesn’t burn enough calories to be considered “exercise” and yoga practitioners adamantly testifying to its benefits.
As a veteran of long-term sustained weight loss and a yoga devotee for eight years, here’s my perspective on yoga for weight loss.
There are many different types of yoga, all requiring different energy (calorie) quotients and physical capability. Some yogas (vinyasa and flow types) require students to move quite a lot throughout a yoga class; others increase demand through heat (Bikram, Forrest); and some are quite gentle and slow (yin, restorative).
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Whew! Last week was wild! I came back from a short vacation with a big goal in front of me – the release of my new audio class on CD.
In the past, an event like this, which brings a certain amount of deadline pressure, has served as an excuse to go unconscious for me. I wouldn’t say I binged over this kind of stress. That hasn’t been an option for a long time.
The Hard Cold Truth about Permanent Weight Loss Audio Course
But, even if binging is an impossible reaction, controlling food and using it to help control stress…
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Thanks for all the comments to the “Sick & Tired of ‘Food Decisions?'” post! Emails and tweets abounded. It was great to hear from you!
The quest for permanent weight loss MUST eventually become non-diet weight loss. Our willpower sooner or later deserts us. In fact, willpower was not equipped for long-range quests. In other words, diets have to morph into intelligent, sustainable lifestyles in order for the change to last. Diet mentality, on the other hand, has us yo-yo-ing our weight and repeatedly coming back for more dieting.
Feeding the body when it is not hungry builds more fat.
Many of the themes I heard from reader responses were from diet mentality and clearly centered on controlling food or controlling behavior with food, rather than focused on real needs. Let’s have a look:
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If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a very funny sketch from the April 10, 2010 Saturday Night Live featuring Tina Fey and her “brownie husband.”
Tina Fey and Brownie Husband from SNL
Food, especially those that heighten the senses like caffeine, sugar and chocolate, are often substitutes for connection, intimacy, and uncomfortable sexual feelings. Chocolate and sex produce similar emotional charges in the brain. “Brownie husband” is always available when we’re not in a partnership, or our key relationships are overstressed or poorly scheduled. Today’s over-busy world poses considerable challenge for the intimacy within relationships.
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As I travel, spreading the word about permanent weight loss, I often speak to middle and high school girls about health, body image, and the negative impact of dieting on weight. It’s always very touching for me to look out over the classroom and see the young women as I speak. Many of them (according to some statistics, about 50%) are already dieting and associating being thin with deprivation.
Thin = Deprivation
Wrong!
Most of them can’t look ahead to see how their current behavior and stringent dieting will lead to frustration, anger and excess weight in their twenties and thirties. It takes many years to see the real equation:
Dieting and Food Avoidance = More Fat
If I could do one thing for these girls, who deserve a healthy future free from disordered eating, it would be to freeze them right where they are.
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- Confused? Most people are. All this is diet advice from the perspective of what I call Diet Mentality. Based in fea… https://t.co/oLbdhU6utw
- https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS
- I've always said exercise is more important than food control. What do you think? https://t.co/nRyJeKMZ9y
- Before and after pictures are usually complete fakes, and give us the misconception that the "after" picture is the… https://t.co/QUdTrITjeG
- Take a look! Wisdom! https://t.co/zjh6DbmIh9
