By now, you have heard that Mattel has tried to diversify its long-time bestselling doll, Barbie, in response to criticism her impossible proportions negatively affect young girls’ body images.
If you read my blog at all, you know I have linked the plastic doll to the super thin plastic “ideal” body seen in every Hollywood film, on the fashion runways, and in advertising.
Almost sixty years ago, Barbie was modeled literally from the original dollmaker’s 12-year-old son’s body – wide shoulders, narrow hips, otherworldly long legs and neck – and then a pair of large fake breasts were appended.
Mattel didn’t cave in and change Barbie because of the collateral damage to females. Instead, they changed the 57-year-old doll due to lowered sales in a world where women have effectively (finally!) rejected the anorexic ideal in favor of reflecting realistic shapes and sizes of females.
It can’t be argued many women have measured themselves against this superthin image, with disastrous results like food addiction, anorexia, disordered eating, bulimia. A recent study published in Psychology Today showed 91% of women were dissatisfied with their bodies, with almost 80% saying they were too heavy, when only about 60% of all women are overweight.
The focus on thin in media has been changing. Who cares if Angelina Jolie can subsist on 600 calories a day? No one is watching her movies, because they are seriously awful, which is why she has to do such outrageous things to get publicity these days.
The public is much more engaged with Amy Schumer, who is seriously funny, and hasn’t abandoned her body to Hollywood’s makeover artists. And with Kim Kardashian’s curvy derriere. And they are fascinated with the sexy new Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Ashley Graham. (Photo by James Macari/from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue on sale now.)
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The irrepressible comedienne Amy Schumer keeps getting in our faces. She likes getting in our faces and, let’s face it, that’s her job. But, this week, we got naked Amy Schumer, showing off her considerable healthy body image.
In an image-driven world, why do we need naked Amy Schumer?
As an entertainer selling her movies, performances and TV shows, she must get in front of us and get our attention. The difference with Amy is – she’s not just another sleek Hollywood body, a woman haunted by long days filled with cigarettes, coffee, maybe a few drugs and a stalk of celery, valiantly trying to measure up to Hollywood’s impossible standards for female artists.
She’s real and she’s real-sized.
She seems more interested in creating a persona that’s down-to-earth AND earthy. She’s VERY invested in being herself.
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It may be hard to believe, but the push for body diversity in media’s portrayal of women started over twenty years ago.
In the 1990s, plus size beauty Emme became the first model to earn a supermodel salary at a size 16 or 18. Despite two decades, change seemed to be crawling slowly until Australian actress Rebel Wilson lit up the screen in the Pitch Perfect movies.
Advertising has embraced race and sexual identity more easily than age or size. However, women of varying sizes and shapes are slowly creeping into advertising, the runway, and even movies.
I was eagerly awaiting the release of “Pitch Perfect 2”, to see the irrepressible actress who gravitates towards playing women with high self-esteem and a wicked sense of humor.
I love her. I love her character’s insistence: “I’m the hot one.”
And, she IS most definitely the the hot one.
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I cringe when I see her tiny hard body. I’m filled with disgust for her negative influence. She may be unaware, but she has many robotic ambassadors roaming the world in influential places – movies, media, fashion, music.
And she’s at it again. She’s a perpetual iconic figure who continues to regenerate, and live in our brains, and make us very fat.
I’m talking about Barbie.
The doll.
Yes, the doll.
Here’s the latest Barbie to hit the market, ripe for holiday buying by moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins and substitute Santas everywhere.
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I have fallen. Deeper. Into my body. Into love.
I had to be shown the way, finally. I had forgotten. How to love. How to hold. How to honor. And worship.
Some days, I am in love with everything and everyone and myself too. But, the days I do not love everything and everyone, I am intensely aware I am out of balance and need to get back in love.
Once you know how to love, you cannot stop. You cannot forget. You must have it again. Once you love yourself, you know you will love and love again and because you have to.
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In an effort to clear my office of clutter, I recently began a scrounge-and-purge operation. I don’t consider myself a hoarder in any way. I’ve learned to let go of old stuff, old fat, and, most importantly, old beliefs. You might say I love releasing things that don’t serve me.
But, it’s amazing what can hide in bookshelves, beneath a stack of reading material, or in office cubbies.
Recently, as I was knee-deep in the recycle bin, I came across a series of old notebooks. I always keep a notebook with me. It might serve as a place to journal, make a to-do list, or plan the year 2035. I long-ago realized I can’t keep all the parts of my life separate, so everything goes in the one notebook I have nearby.
The day before Thanksgiving, I found myself going through a notebook from early in my final weight loss journey. I have no idea what cued the list I found… but I was actively losing weight and must have realized, or read somewhere, that I should hook into the rewards of the task I was planning.
So, here’s my list – the reasons why I wanted to lose weight permanently:
1. I’ll feel connected to my body, no static in between it and me.
2. I’ll be the essence of me, no excess anywhere.
3. I’ll look better in clothes and find it easy to shop.
4. It will show I walk my talk. I say I want to be a healthy weight and embody health, and that will be apparent.
5. Food will cease to be a focal point in my life.
6. I’ll show love without food.
7. I’ll love myself and others more deeply and purely. My expression of this love will be clean and simple and authentic.
8. I’ll honor my body.
9. I’ll be as I was meant to be. I won’t carry my inadequacies and disappointments on my hips.
And here’s what’s important about this ten-year-old list:
Today, it’s all true. Every word of it.
It’s the season of thanksgiving, and I’m very grateful for all the wonder in my life. I’m even more inspired to look back and see what I have created. I always had doubt, but my intention from those words somehow carried me through the doubt, the hard times, the heartbreak and meandering roads that make up life.
What do you want to create? In ten years, what will be on the list you find? The list you write today?
One of the most painful aspects of weight loss is weight regain. Has this scenario happened to you? You’ve struggled and deprived yourself for months, losing weight. And, then, one day you “wake up fat” again.
Watch this video where actor Kevin James explains it perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnC9BzXso90
What were his key words?
“I’m going to give myself a little time to have fun….”
Yep, that’s what started it all!
Another key thing he said? “I’m going to make a turnaround.”
Have you heard yourself saying either of these things?
They are called denial.
Now, my point is not to ridicule Kevin James. In fact, since I have coached clients in the film business and worked in it too, I can tell you the methods used to get in shape for a film are often gruesome, even more restrictive and debilitating than most of us mortals, who aren’t being paid hundreds of thousands (or millions!) of dollars, could endure.
And, if our mortal efforts results in regain 99% of the time, Hollywood weight loss is almost guaranteed to return. You see this over and over, as actors regularly bulk up, then lose weight, invariably winding up in midlife as overweight, metabolisms shot, bodies energetically depleted. It happened to Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor in the old days. It happened to Russell Crowe and Christina Aguilera more recently.
And even though it’s a legitimate point how differently media treat male and female regainers (media and tabloids follow female regainers around ruthlessly – see this recent article where Christina Aguilera talks about how she was “forced” to be toothpick thin early in her career, with producers telling her an entire tour would fail if she was anything but tiny), they didn’t seem to talk too much about Kevin James’ regain.
He wasn’t ridiculed or plastered on the cover of People magazine.
He didn’t find a “plus sized” label in front of his name, like comedienne Aidy Bryant, a new regular cast member of Saturday Night Live, discovered in front of her name in the articles about her new job. (See this article calling her “morbidly obese” and suggesting thin women run for the ho-hos.)
No, the point is Kevin’s regain. Despite his sense of humor (haven’t we all developed good senses of humor about our weight?), you can see behind his apology.
As I recently told a client who got to goal weight and began to slip: there is only one way to eat.
Period.
No “I’ll just give myself a break…”
No “I’ll get back on the wagon….” Remember Oprah’s wagon? There is no wagon.
There is only now. And how we feed and treat ourselves right now will show up tomorrow. There is only one way to eat. And that is in the healthiest way possible, especially given the crap that’s hawked in our faces every day, screaming from every billboard, sign and screen.
Let’s eat in a way that makes us proud of ourselves today, and makes tomorrow great.
We all know how to do this, if we stop and pay attention. We know how to treat ourselves with dignity.
It’s been a couple weeks since I posted a blog! This is always a busy time of year as my son starts school, and I usually begin another enLIGHTen Your Life! mastermind course.
This year, I have two classes beginning at once! Double fun!
It’s also an interesting time because my birthday falls in September too. That, combined with telling my weight loss story to my new classes, has directed me to a more introspective perspective on my journey than usual.
Losing weight permanently opened up my whole world on so many levels. I gained confidence. I took risks I’d never taken before. I began to chart my own destiny in terms of work, relationships, parenting, creativity.
I literally found myself under the layer of insulation I carried for over 20 years.
Perhaps it was my birthday, but I recently thought about what I found when I lost weight from the inside out. What was hiding underneath all that fat?
This is what I found:
I believe this photo was taken on my first birthday because you’ll notice I’m standing by the ice cream churn! My mother used to make homemade ice cream on our birthdays.
No doubt I am waiting for ice cream! Maybe I’ve been churning and I’m taking a break. But this is what I see:
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