Sending a son off to college is a challenge. I expected that.
You expect emotional impact on your “momself.” The cost is astonishing! Then, there’s the uphill climb through amazing hills of paperwork, applications for everything from residence halls to scholarships to individual study programs.
What I never expected was the guilt-evoking barrage of sales packages, all suggesting ways to spend money to alleviate the “momguilt” of sending junior from his childhood home into the big, bad world.
Get this one, which arrived today:
After a long lead-in about how lonely and bereft DS would be at the big/intimidating university, and the assurance that the big/intimidating university will be doing their part to help the student assimilate, I am reminded that most students don’t get enough encouragement from home!
Momguilt!!
However, in our foodcentric and food focused society, there is really only ONE answer!
FOOD!
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The popular movie, The Hunger Games, is raking in the profits after capitalizing on the word-of-mouth from readers of the popular teen book and a boatload of publicity.
I wish I had come up with this name for the book I am writing. The Hunger Games – doesn’t it sound like a self-help book for pulling yourself out of food addiction?
Well, here are some REAL Hunger Games we play. Which one’s your favorite?
1. Diet/Avoid Food All Morning and Binge the Rest of the Day
This is the surest road to excess weight. I did it for years. I thought I was “saving up calories” for the rest of the day and exercising my willpower muscles, but I was creating more hunger and programming my body to store fat faster and more efficiently. I was also losing touch with what real hunger felt like and teaching my body I would not respond to its natural hunger cues.
2. Plan Days/Events/Activities Around Eating
OK, my bad on this one. It’s still my favorite example though. I used to choose an Overeaters Anonymous meeting because it was near one of my favorite restaurants. Since I was the one doing it, I can cop to it now. It’s so counter-intuitive, it’s amazing. Many of my clients tell me they hit goal weight in Weight Watchers and have already planned their “reward binge” or mapped out the directions to the nearest fast food restaurant. Yeah, it makes no sense, but it happens. A lot. It’s a sign nothing has changed.
Do you choose events or movies because you like a restaurant nearby? Does “being in the neighborhood” sound like a good excuse to hit a favorite type of food? Or do you say, “Who knows when I’ll get a chance to eat this again?” That’s not a real reason to eat, just a Hunger Game.
3. Eating as Entertainment (Food Focused or Foodcentric Lifestyle)
When you get together with friends, family or a partner, is your main focus eating? A movie is entertainment. A bike ride is activity. Eating is functional. It’s the gas station. Fuel. It can taste great and transport your taste buds, but if it’s your main source of entertainment, it’s time to branch out and see more of life.
4. Fear of Hunger
Many of my clients stash food in their cars, offices, gym lockers, computer cases and bedrooms so they will never be without a fix. What’s so scary about being hungry? Well, it’s usually not hunger we really fear, but the needs underneath. These needs, often subconscious and unexplored, are darker and usually created long ago, in childhood. However, it doesn’t matter if it’s unlikely to happen (running out of food or not being able to get to food in our society???), fear loves to run our behaviors.
5. I’ll Fix it Later
This is my favorite. We live under the illusion, reinforced by the diet industry, that choices today are unimportant because we have the ability to fix our weight later. Have that rich, fat-laden five course meal and promise to run every day next week to make up for it. Turn into the drive-thru – it’s OK because you’re going to the gym tonight.
This is simply untrue. Dieting rarely works, and reinforcing this negative belief (or LIE) of the “quick fix later” just makes it feel true. The truth is, once fat is processed, it’s more difficult to remove and resists dieting and excessive exercise. In fact, the longer you work out, the less fat you will burn every minute.
Understanding how the body works is the key to ending the Hunger Games in your life. Being consistently healthy is simpler and more effective than playing games too.
If you (or anyone you know) is ready to end the Hunger Games in life, share this post with them and check out my next enLIGHTen Your Life! class starting soon! Click here for information.
This month’s book contest features the “Just Tell Her to Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders“ , by Becky Henry.
This fascinating book offers a different perspective on eating disorders. If you have experienced disordered eating, or have children who might be susceptible, it’s a must read. Parenting a child in today’s world, which is focused on controlling food, food addictions, setting up bizarre behaviors with food, binge eating and food struggle, isn’t easy. It’s a food focused and foodcentric world. This book helps you understand the struggle for control.
Two ways to win!
1. Go to America’s Weight Loss Catalyst Facebook Page by clicking here and hitting the “Like” button. You’ll be the bonus of tips and motivation every morning from the facebook page!
2. Visit any other blog post right here on this site and post your comments, opinion or questions. We’re always happy when you share the blog posts by using the buttons at the bottom of the page too!
You get one entry for every action you take!
Share the Catalyst experience on social media and you’re automatically entered to win this month’s book: Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders by Becky Henry!
Thanks for all the comments to the “Sick & Tired of ‘Food Decisions?'” post! Emails and tweets abounded. It was great to hear from you!
The quest for permanent weight loss MUST eventually become non-diet weight loss. Our willpower sooner or later deserts us. In fact, willpower was not equipped for long-range quests. In other words, diets have to morph into intelligent, sustainable lifestyles in order for the change to last. Diet mentality, on the other hand, has us yo-yo-ing our weight and repeatedly coming back for more dieting.
Feeding the body when it is not hungry builds more fat.
Many of the themes I heard from reader responses were from diet mentality and clearly centered on controlling food or controlling behavior with food, rather than focused on real needs. Let’s have a look:
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Talk about a “Food Decision” wall!! I hit it hard this week. Take a bit of fatigue and add several last-minute twists to a schedule that was a tad too tight in the first place, and all of a sudden food decisions become hard. I found myself saying, “I don’t want to DECIDE what to eat. It’s too much work. I just want someone to make dinner miraculously appear for my family and me.”
My clients describe this place of indecision and frustration a lot! Today, women work so hard in their careers and have so many additional responsibilities PLUS they are often expected to also fulfill the traditional “wife” duties of social planning, intra-family communication, scheduling, housework and meal planning/preparation. Overscheduling is a way of life. It can be a huge burden to carry.
The Food Decision Wall is that point when there’s nothing in the house to feed the kids except raw carrots and dog food and you’re seriously considering which would be more nutritious. It’s when you scream, “I NEED A WIFE!” It’s when you KNOW the best possible solution is to grab the phone for … FAST FOOD DELIVERY!
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Here in Madison, WI, we’re experiencing the winter’s first big snow. Imagine my surprise when I was driving through the near white-out conditions and noticed a woman standing outside an office building, without a coat, casually smoking a cigarette.
“Wow!” I thought. She must really need that cigarette!” It was so interesting to see her complete lack of embarrassment as she demonstrated her addiction in spite of the frozen conditions.
My addiction was always food. I thought, “Would I stand in the snow to eat a brownie if you couldn’t eat them indoors?”
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Over 13 years ago, when I decided to lose weight permanently, the word was out: Diets don’t work.
In 1996, there was a kind of confusion as to why that was true. I set out to understand permanent weight loss because I knew that gave me the ONLY opportunity to achieve it.
It’s not surprising, when I give a workshop or teach a class, that my clients don’t understand how the body loses weight. It’s no guarded secret. But we simply don’t teach it here in America. It’s not fast. It’s not sexy. But I say the hell with that, you can be fast and sexy later, once you’ve taken the time to make real change in your life.
So, here we go. Here’s the first reason diets almost never lead to permanent weight loss:
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- Confused? Most people are. All this is diet advice from the perspective of what I call Diet Mentality. Based in fea… https://t.co/oLbdhU6utw
- https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS
- I've always said exercise is more important than food control. What do you think? https://t.co/nRyJeKMZ9y
- Before and after pictures are usually complete fakes, and give us the misconception that the "after" picture is the… https://t.co/QUdTrITjeG
- Take a look! Wisdom! https://t.co/zjh6DbmIh9
