One of the most painful aspects of weight loss is weight regain. Has this scenario happened to you? You’ve struggled and deprived yourself for months, losing weight. And, then, one day you “wake up fat” again.
Watch this video where actor Kevin James explains it perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnC9BzXso90
What were his key words?
“I’m going to give myself a little time to have fun….”
Yep, that’s what started it all!
Another key thing he said? “I’m going to make a turnaround.”
Have you heard yourself saying either of these things?
They are called denial.
Now, my point is not to ridicule Kevin James. In fact, since I have coached clients in the film business and worked in it too, I can tell you the methods used to get in shape for a film are often gruesome, even more restrictive and debilitating than most of us mortals, who aren’t being paid hundreds of thousands (or millions!) of dollars, could endure.
And, if our mortal efforts results in regain 99% of the time, Hollywood weight loss is almost guaranteed to return. You see this over and over, as actors regularly bulk up, then lose weight, invariably winding up in midlife as overweight, metabolisms shot, bodies energetically depleted. It happened to Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor in the old days. It happened to Russell Crowe and Christina Aguilera more recently.
And even though it’s a legitimate point how differently media treat male and female regainers (media and tabloids follow female regainers around ruthlessly – see this recent article where Christina Aguilera talks about how she was “forced” to be toothpick thin early in her career, with producers telling her an entire tour would fail if she was anything but tiny), they didn’t seem to talk too much about Kevin James’ regain.
He wasn’t ridiculed or plastered on the cover of People magazine.
He didn’t find a “plus sized” label in front of his name, like comedienne Aidy Bryant, a new regular cast member of Saturday Night Live, discovered in front of her name in the articles about her new job. (See this article calling her “morbidly obese” and suggesting thin women run for the ho-hos.)
No, the point is Kevin’s regain. Despite his sense of humor (haven’t we all developed good senses of humor about our weight?), you can see behind his apology.
As I recently told a client who got to goal weight and began to slip: there is only one way to eat.
Period.
No “I’ll just give myself a break…”
No “I’ll get back on the wagon….” Remember Oprah’s wagon? There is no wagon.
There is only now. And how we feed and treat ourselves right now will show up tomorrow. There is only one way to eat. And that is in the healthiest way possible, especially given the crap that’s hawked in our faces every day, screaming from every billboard, sign and screen.
Let’s eat in a way that makes us proud of ourselves today, and makes tomorrow great.
We all know how to do this, if we stop and pay attention. We know how to treat ourselves with dignity.
One of my fabulous clients described her journey towards permanent weight loss this way: “It’s like I was on a rollercoaster when I was dieting, now I’m in the driver’s seat, driving change.”
I thought this was a great metaphor for dieting v. lifestyle change.
Let’s think about this.
When you are on the diet rollercoaster:
1. You feel out of control.
2. It’s scary.
3. Emotions rage with good days and bad days. Emotions always lead to emotional eating and comfort food.
4. The number on the scale can send you on a binge.
5. Disappointment, sadness, anxiety and other daily occurrences set off eating sprees, followed by food restriction and new promises to diet all over again tomorrow, next Monday, or next month.
6. You follow someone else’s plan – might be a diet, a book, a program. These plans never address your personal body’s needs, but are generalized approaches.
7. You “wake up” with an empty plate, a candy wrapper, a cookie box, or other container in front of you and no idea how it got there or where the food went.
8. You try to control the crazy momentum by counting something (calories, aerobic output, anything at all).
9. You think poor choices say something about your personal character.
10. You struggle. Struggle diminishes your effort, your success and, ultimately, your dreams.
9. You constantly fluctuate between weights, yo-yo-ing up and down the scale. Ultimately, you wind up back at the beginning, where you started, at the “loading zone” of the rollercoaster ride.
You know you are making a lifestyle change, and you are driving change, when:
1. You are the authority on what food is the best fuel for YOUR body and you know exactly what makes great energy for your unique physiology.
2. You consistently fuel your body for optimal energy.
3. You make decisions easily, without mental combat occurring.
4. You address any emotion, obstacle or event DIRECTLY, without buffering it with food.
5. You never make excuses, but OWN every decision and action.
6. You feel empowered. You are driving. You are choosing the route you take.
7. You treat yourself with respect and love in all circumstances, no matter what you ate that day.
8. The ride leads to new places, new discoveries, and wide-open vistas because you aren’t on a “track”, you’re in ever-changing life.
Getting off the diet rollercoaster isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about quality of life. It’s about living a fully empowered life, instead of giving power away to a plan, a diet, or anything that’s not organic to your amazing physical body.
Non-diet weight loss is the kind that lasts too. Isn’t that what we ultimately want when we think of lowering the number on the scale, anyway?
For someone who battled fat and won, long-term, I learned there are many misconceptions about how excess weight is lost. Unfortunately, what we don’t know can cause great harm, with long-term effects.
Naturally, we want quick results and, with no shortage of diets in the world, it’s very tempting to grab onto a diet for weight loss. Unfortunately, that leads to the condition we now see in our culture: DIETING FATTER every year.
But the human body is resourceful and intelligent, and it perceives a diet as an assault. Let me explain why.
Continue reading »
If you read my blog often, you know that I have lost substantial weight and kept it off since the year 2000. In my seminars and workshops, where I teach the principles of permanent weight loss, I often talk about the two most important factors to lifestyle change that result in permanent weight loss:
Consistency
That’s how you build lifestyle change. It doesn’t come with a diet, or we’d all be thin. Consistency is how you show up in your life, every day. It’s about the quality of the effort.
Consistency is not about “cheat days” or accepting a binge because it’s been a rough week or we got rejected by someone or something. Consistency is about integrity and owning our choices, for good. It’s about busting up excess weight with good behavior with food and exercise executed on a daily basis.
Continue reading »
Huge topic here. TRUST. In my role as on-air life coach for NBC-15 here in Madison, I spoke about trust this morning.
I’m interviewing potential students for the enLIGHTen Your Life! course, my mastermind permanent weight loss course, and I’ve heard several people make statements like “I’m afraid to try weight loss again. I can’t trust that I will lose weight and keep it off.”
When I ask them to explain, they mention trusting a diet, or a “plan.”
I like to gently point out that is not even a point of trust.
To lose weight and keep weight off, we only need to trust OURSELVES.
You have never failed at a diet.
I repeat: You have never failed at a diet.
Diets always fail and always will. If you’ve let the weight loss/regain process erode your trust, there’s a bigger issue here to address. If you’ve forgotten how to do that, come join the course!
Learning to trust is part of the process of re-educating ourselves for long-term success. Non-diet weight loss is so much easier than the alternative and leads to permanent weight loss because we create a new lifestyle and the kind of deeper change that has positive effect on behavior.
Why Trusting Ourselves is Important
- It’s up to us. We are responsible.
- Trust is essential to the process of developing natural eating and activity patterns based on your own, unique body cues.
- Attitude is the most important aspect of weight loss. This requires “rewiring” the circuits in the brain. It can be done and it helps establish or re-establish trust.
- To lose weight permanently, we have to learn to cut through subconscious emotions that sabotage progress; trust is vital to this process.
- Trust, once present, goes EVERYWHERE. You don’t just suddenly leave it at home one day and abandon your deepest wishes. It’s part of you, portable, accessible, and, therefore, powerful.
Think back to the times when you trusted yourself and really stepped into life.
Trusting may have felt a little wobbly at first. It’s a leap.
But the leaps in life are important – that’s where we get to show up and put it all on the line. That’s exciting and it’s memorable.
Eating and food habits challenge us when we are trying to lose weight. Diets encourage eating in a different manner but habits have a way of coming back, reappearing just when you’re making progress, or getting to a comfortable weight or size.
Why?
One of my brilliant clients coined a new phrase last week when she said many of her food habits had become more engrained than simple habits – they had deepened into behaviors – they were like
Continue reading »
We hear a lot about “lifestyle change” today. In fact, most diets call themselves a “lifestyle change”, even the popular commercial ones that are nothing more than a prescribed food plan.
I guess it makes customers THINK they’re doing the big job, not the little (short-term) one.
My favorite “lifestyle change” quote came from a friend who dropped a lot of weight (temporarily) during the Phen-Fen pharmaceutical debacle.
Continue reading »
- Confused? Most people are. All this is diet advice from the perspective of what I call Diet Mentality. Based in fea… https://t.co/oLbdhU6utw
- https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS https://t.co/0JcSIOHFVS
- I've always said exercise is more important than food control. What do you think? https://t.co/nRyJeKMZ9y
- Before and after pictures are usually complete fakes, and give us the misconception that the "after" picture is the… https://t.co/QUdTrITjeG
- Take a look! Wisdom! https://t.co/zjh6DbmIh9
